Grumpy Cat
Tardar Sauce, aka “Tard”, aka “Grumpy Cat” at the South by Southwest Music, Film and Interactive Festival (SXSWi).

Let me begin by saying that I think Tardar Sauce is totally squee. (We can use that word as an adjective, can’t we? I vote yes.)

NopeAt the South by Southwest Music, Film and Interactive Festival now underway in Austin, people have been standing in line for hours to have their picture taken with her. Which is only appropriate, because Tardar Sauce, aka Tard, aka Grumpy Cat the Uber-Meme, makes people feel good by sheer virtue of her existence.

Most people, that is.

For others, her name was a problem. The moment that she hit the morning show circuit, her politically incorrect nickname, Tard, disappeared. She was introduced as either Tardar Sauce or Grumpy Cat, but never as Tard. Close one! And honestly, why would anybody call her “Tard” anyway? I mean, she doesn’t look retarded, does she?

Then the birthers piled on. Her sibling owners, Bryan and Tabatha Bundesen, have confirmed that Tard thus far has generated revenue for them in the mid-five figures and that, dear reader, is unacceptable because (bam!) Tard might be a Munchkin cat bred for traits of dwarfism, and (bam!) she appears to have facial bone deformities to boot … hence the adorable … I mean heart-wrenching … I mean … whatever … scowl.

So are Bryan and Tabatha supplementing their incomes as a cable TV technician and waitress respectively by exploiting a deformed, disabled and, let’s be honest, possibility retarded cat? Is Tard in pain? Or is she merely unimpressed?

There’s a Tard-face T-shirt that addresses all these issues very succinctly, I think: “I had a good day once. It was terrible.”