The milk truck says in pictures what it can’t say in words, because saying in actual words that its milk comes from cows who spend their days munching green grass in the great outdoors would be an actionable lie. Instead, it says “DairyPure,” a nice-sounding but meaningless portmanteau, and “starts pure, stays pure,” because as any advertising professional will tell you, saying pure three times in a row causes trust enzymes to flood the human brain.
Also, in lieu of Certified Humane, or even USDA Organic, Pet decorates itself with something it calls the “five point purity promise,” which does sound promising, what with there being so many promises involved, but what are they? Here’s from dairypure.com:
- No bovine growth hormones. (Disambiguation: As early as 2007, Consumer Reports found that 76% of milk drinkers expressed concern about drinking milk from cows treated with rBGH. Pet got the memo.)
- Tested for antibiotics. (Disambiguation: Pet promises to comply with FDA standards. They’re not breaking the law.)
- Tested for purity. (Disambiguation: No floaty bits.)
- Cows fed a “healthy diet.” (Disambiguation: As opposed to “grass-fed.” Like the seafood store that advertises “farm raised salmon,” Pet touts vice as virtue.)
- Cold-shipped. (Disambiguation: Surprisingly, in the year 2017, dairies still get to brag about refrigerating their perishables. A sixth promise regarding clean shipping containers now seems in order.)