As hell

The Toast King, shown here with Insanity Prawn Boy, rules over the Moon. It was the Toast King who first told us that heat induces royalty.
The Toast King, shown here with Insanity Prawn Boy, rules over the Moon. It was the Toast King who first told us that heat induces royalty.

When I contacted Clayton Kale last week about publishing a serious UFO piece in Link Magazine, I did so expecting a polite “we appreciate your interest …” boilerplate reply … or no reply at all … or a spam filter erected in my honor. Link, for all its hipness and youthery, still is published by The Greenville News, which exudes no hipness or youthery whatsoever.

I was wrong.

Kale emailed me yesterday to say that he’s going to run the Peter Davenport (NUFORC) interview in next week’s issue. His reason for running the piece, he says, is to encourage other local writers to submit their work, but I’m already lining up an interview with Charlotte-based commercial airline pilot Jim Courant in order to have a piece ready to pitch immediately after the Davenport interview is published.

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According to the Toast King, who rules over the Moon, heat induces royalty. Thus did Greenville’s coronation day parade culminate yesterday with a high of 101. Actual. God knows what the heat index was. Festivities included a widespread power outage (sort of reverse fireworks, I guess) and what sounded like a bat – probably starved and dehydrated – squeaking around the rafters of my 14-foot ceiling. People who’ve heard me refer the condo as a “bat cave” may begin laughing … wait for it … now!

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Three ufology news summaries published at Technorati and an opinion piece about the Shirley Sherrod debacle published at Technorati and submitted to The Greenville News. A prolific week, by my standards.

Sherrod’s story reminds me of what went down when Henry Louis “Skip” Gates, Jr. showed his ass in Massachusetts almost a year ago. Rush to judgement, double back-flip discrimination, apologies, pro forma CYA rhetoric about “teaching moments.”

What is the movie about people having some horribly disfiguring condition or disease that’s visible only if seen through special lenses? I wish I could remember it. Vampires or aliens or zombies. Something.

Anyway, if we could look at politicians and pundits through a set of those lenses, I think we’d see how much they suffer. Career politicians would be unrecognizable as human beings, especially on the federal level. Local politicians, less corrupted perhaps than their state and federal betters, would look proportionately less frightening.
Maybe my own powerlessness explains why I have such good teeth.