Hubbard as Columbo. Hmm.

Did I imagine it? Did the humidity monster really blink this morning? A friend told me yesterday to expect autumnal foreshadowing by the end of the month, so maybe I’m just proving the power of suggestion, but … a certain slant of the light, a less warm and soggy than usual puff of breeze … there was something. When I say my prayers tonight, I’ll ask for follow-through.

There’s a man here in Greenville named Jay Spivey. He runs an online magazine called Fete. It’s Greenville’s version of Columbia’s Free Times or Charlotte’s Creative Loafing and, if the advertisement-to-content ratio means anything, it’s off to a rousing start. Jay and I talked a few weeks ago about a non-serious, semi-regular feature, form and content left more or less up to me. Too good to be true? September will tell the tale.

I’m relieved to report that, even after a nearly (or more than?) two-year hiatus from the boards, my poor gluten-ravaged gray matter still is capable of memorizing lines. Chief Inspector Hubbard has taken up residence therein and should be finished decorating by first read October 4.

Here’s the rub, though … John Williams’ spit-and-polish Hubbard in the 1954 screen adaptation of Knott’s stageplay is standard. But couldn’t the character be a bit rumpled? Less Oxford and more Cockney? There’s a moment in the last act when Hubbard, who’s about to leave, turns back to Wendice and says, “Oh, there is one other thing, sir.” It’s sooo Peter Falkian. The stage directions even call for him to wear a raincoat. And to smoke (albeit a pipe).

And in the category of reasons why Tim Brosnan isn’t a sound designer, wouldn’t it be cool if, during curtain call for Dial ‘M’, we played ELO’s “Telephone Line”? As a palate cleanser, I mean? “And I wonder why the little things you planned ain’t coming true …” It fits!